guility.

my excuses.
my unwillingness.
my fear of boreness.

mum working.
mum tiredness.
mum not feeling well.

dad one man show.
dad cooping with the crowds.
dad tireness.

I ask myself. Have I put my shoes in them.
Did I ever thought of dad, one person working on its own, his loneliness, his boredom with no customer, his busy period with lots of customer coming at a time, accepting their demanding, their impatient attitude.

Did I thought of mum not getting used to this kind of hawker life. Imagine how different it is in hawker and clinic. How tired and mum health is, Mum boreness.

I didnt realise untill today when dad was ranting at how tough he is to rush order himself, he didnt blame mum or me for not helping. He know our individual job scope. He complain in his own funny and humourous way to us so as not to make us feel bad. I know I understand.

This make me more guilty instead.
Extremely.

Suddenely think of how it is to rush order in Andersen instead, count myself lucky there is always helping hands around me to help me, aid me whenever I have difficult and importantly there is air conditioner to smoothe up the feeling. But hawker, No aircon, how tough it is man.

我好内疚哦~
从来都没有那么内疚过~

我知道他们很爱我。。
很疼我。。
每当我不开心时。爸会让我自己一个人， 妈会问我发生了什么事。
当时的我，就开始甩任性，用自己很不愿意的语气反击他们。
最后，大家就会受伤了。。但他们知道我并不是有意的。
很谢谢他们。

眼睛不由止住得很想哭，但坚强视为一项撑住的一种魔力吧。

- 独立 -